Are the rapidly enlarging and engorged bags and sacks underneath both my eyes due to aging? Or are they due to panic, intense anxiety, stress, acute paranoia, clinical depression, alcoholism and sleepless nights?
Maybe it is both reasons. Oh, what a shame.
When you have had several bottles of red wine too many and a bottle of cheap Estonian vodka do not, I repeat, do not decide to receive a chocolate enema administered by a seven foot tall tranny. Oh the mess. Oh the chocolate. Oh the heels.
It was as effective as a, erm . . . […]
It was fun but there was no rest, none at all. Does that make me wicked?
Yesterday was the day I went post-Easter cold turkey and boy was it rough. I still feel particularly delicate right now. Why these unpleasant feelings of tiredness, paranoia and pain? Well, I have been drinking solidly and rapidly for five […]
It’s break time. Cor blimey governor, I am very much looking forward to my days over the Easter Bank Holiday weekend that I have graciously been allowed to take off.
I am in no way a religious man, in fact I am a devout atheist, but I thank that there non-existent God and his little helper […]
When indie celebrities go mental at the NME Awards do not accept their invitation to party.
This will continue for four full days and nights and involve visits to salubrious clubs, pubs and brothels in the heart of seedy Soho and oh sooo trendy Hoxton. Partying for such lengths of time is so exhausting you have […]
Wow, celebrities man, they are flipping maniac monsters dude. I thought I was a wild and crazy kind of guy but the unruly activities of various band members and singers last night pushed my drunken behaviour into irrelevance.
The Shockwaves NME Awards 2009 culminated in the throwing of burgers, beer and Champaign and this kind of […]
I admit it is not like me to post pictures of myself on my blog but I have done so – see below. Why this blatant self-exhibition? Because I feel like it people. These are not particularly complimentary pictures and they are of me as my plain male drab self, no drag going on here […]
Well, it is the Monday after the Friday before. As mentioned in my previous post I was off out to a corporate drinking event. Unfortunately, poor little Nelson made a bit of a fool of himself. I was sooo drunk. I still have a hangover now. The last time I was that drunk was the […]
It is the corporate Christmas Party tonight. “But it is February,” I hear you protest. That’s right. The company, in its ongoing efforts to penny pinch, is to engage in its festive activities during the cheapest and most depressing of months. There will be free beer for half an hour and some complimentary chips and […]
Number 29: Man in Bed
It is another Friday night. It is midnight and you are rather drunken and bored. You can hear all those totties outside, clomping along in their high heels, laughing, having fun and looking for a bit of sexing. The light bulb of your mind springs to life and you decide to […]