Oh boy, I am so sorry. You may have noticed I have not been posting for a while. I took a little time off around my birthday and chose not to post. I can take a break can’t I?
The good news is that I am now back. The bad news is that the amount of […]
What the flip is going on?
It is dark at four thirty. It is cold. It is wet. Bills are tripling in price. Shopping is expensive. People are mental. The streets are clogged. Public transport does not work. The causeway is covered in poop. I am lonely.
So come on Gordon Browny, sort it out mate. The […]
Why have all my shoes disintegrated at the same time? All my favourite pairs of trainers are rapidly becoming unwearable. Big holes appear on the heel and rips occur in the lining. I have to stuff an old pair of socks in the heel so that my foot is not directly placed on the floor.
It […]
Arrrggghhhh!!!!
Arrrggghhhgghhh!!!!!
Arrarrgghhhghhhhhh!!!gh!!! ug
I have not slept for the last two nights. I feel sick and have started hallucinating. My temper is now so short that if anyone so much as smells me I’ll have ‘em. Oh boy, pumped up on caffeine and sugar I think my eyes are about to pop out of their sockets. Boy […]
I had a very odd dream last night; at least I think it was a dream. I am not even going to try and analyse the meaning. It really put the willies up me. The dream involved me answering my telephone, in itself something that would never happen.
I wished I had not – it was […]
I awoke in the middle of the night covered in sweat and screaming. What could have happened to cause such a reaction? Was there a man stood at the end of the bed? Had a meteorite smashed through the window? Was I having another unfortunate bowel incident? Then I remembered – A-level results.
Today students in […]
I did the crazy thing of ordering items over the internet a couple of weeks ago. I had the vague hope that they would be delivered to me. Thousands of people do this daily. So why oh why have I had such a problem and still not received my goods?
I am not going to name […]
For a while I lived ten stories up in a penthouse flat on Kingsland Road in Shoreditch. Being on the top floor I was able to crawl out of the window, shuffle along a tiny ledge and then climb up a small ladder. Positioning myself on the roof I had an amazing view of central […]
I was rather upset to discover that my good buddy Busby is moving to New York. He will be on a six month placement as a games designer for a popular entertainment software company. He is rather nervous about this geographical displacement. Busby has never visited the States before and he is under the impression […]