Recently a woman successfully sued a footwear manufacturer for damages. She was wearing her new pair of high glamour shoes and the heel snapped off. This led to her losing her balance and breaking her ankle. The brake was so severe she needed surgery and metal pins were placed in her bones, ruining a budding […]
Do you ever feel like every day is just the same?
The new working week dawns and one is wishing for the end of the week. The work never changes, the routine never wavers. It is the same drudgery day-in and day-out. As one day seeps into the next you just wish your life away. Before […]
“Hello Mr Garazy, I need you keys for flat.”
“Hi Mr Chan, what do you mean?”
“I need you keys so I can get in you flat.”
“Why do you need to get into my flat?”
“I want me looky round you flat.”
“Why?”
“Just want looky round.”
“There must be a reason.”
“Just give me key I check.”
“Check what?”
“JUST GIVE ME KEY.”
“I’m […]
I have just had a disturbing threat from the sex pest.
I was sat at my desk when I noticed someone had sidled up behind me. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed a distorted simulacrum of a face. Turning around I was repulsed by the sight of the pest’s deformed grin. He was […]
Today I have been mostly thinking:
“Nothing ever bloody anything bloody ever.”
So there.
I was at my mother’s house, looking through the window of my old bedroom, which looked out onto the back garden. On the grass was stood a stooped old woman, with a blue rinse and a little active terrier, happily running around her feet. The woman was wearing a large black overcoat, with a furry […]
Why do I often awake of a morning with a hangover? (’Because you are a drunk?‘ sobriety Ed). I have totally cut down on the amount that I drink, thank you. At one stage it was a nightly activity, even a daily activity. Drink drink drink and be depressed boy.
After my meeting with Dr De’Ath […]
I was striding over the Millennium Bridge last eve, dodging tourists and wishing I was carrying a samurai sword, when I almost walked directly into top TV celebrity magic man Derren Brown. There was a camera placed on a tripod filming him as he pretended to be a member of the public walking within the […]
I had a brilliant dream last night. I rarely have vivid dreams and when I do I tend to immediately forget them. Nowadays, I do not have time to start dreaming with all the alarms and sirens going off outside. My dream was in the style of the film Cloverfield.
A giant unseen monster was attacking […]
I returned to my flat to discover the front door ajar. I live alone so this was a real shock. I had a terrible sinking feeling of dismay and trepidation as my sphincter shrank to the size of a pea. I have been burgled before and I can assure you that it is a horrible […]