Do you ever feel like every day is just the same?
The new working week dawns and one is wishing for the end of the week. The work never changes, the routine never wavers. It is the same drudgery day-in and day-out. As one day seeps into the next you just wish your life away. Before […]
A recent report has discovered that oranges are fast becoming a rather unpopular fruit. Due to the haste of modern living, there is not enough time to sit and peel an orange. The citrus has become too labour intensive and is now very much out of favour with the modern workforce.
Well, let me tell you, […]
It was with intense trepidation that I walked up to the gates outside work for my confrontation with the sex pest. I was stood in the spitting rain, with only a couple of smokers for company. I decided to give the pest five minutes and then I would return to my desk, settled in the […]
I have just had a disturbing threat from the sex pest.
I was sat at my desk when I noticed someone had sidled up behind me. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed a distorted simulacrum of a face. Turning around I was repulsed by the sight of the pest’s deformed grin. He was […]
There seems to be a rash of birthdays in the office. Each day, for the past two weeks, there have been one or two birthdays. What is it with May? When you think about the average gestation period for humans that makes the hot sticky nights of August a rather erotic fun time.
I do enjoy […]
I am happy to announce that the unpleasant events of Friday evening were in no way my fault. After talking to a few people in the office it turns out that the person who threatened me has a reputation for being a sex predator. This is great news because I am now exonerated of any […]
Today I have been mostly thinking:
“Nothing ever bloody anything bloody ever.”
So there.
I was at my mother’s house, looking through the window of my old bedroom, which looked out onto the back garden. On the grass was stood a stooped old woman, with a blue rinse and a little active terrier, happily running around her feet. The woman was wearing a large black overcoat, with a furry […]
George has got it into his little head that it is an amazing idea to create a Paul Young cover version band. He is pestering me everyday, trying to turn me onto the joy of Paul Young’s musical oeuvre. He is desperate for me to play guitar, Pip on bass and Bugsy to bash his […]
As I was walking to work this morning I witnessed something rather odd at Bank bottleneck. The suited gentleman preceding me in the bustling crowd suddenly jumped in the air for no apparent reason. He looked like he had received a caustic electrical shock. He left the pavement jerking his legs spastically and twisting his […]