Just One More
It is late. It is a school day tomorrow. You are not quite sure what exactly is happening. You started drinking beer at midday and have just finished off your second bottle of wine and forgotten to eat. Your stereo is blasting out the latest Foals tune and something appears to be on […]
“Hello Mr Garazy, I need you keys for flat.”
“Hi Mr Chan, what do you mean?”
“I need you keys so I can get in you flat.”
“Why do you need to get into my flat?”
“I want me looky round you flat.”
“Why?”
“Just want looky round.”
“There must be a reason.”
“Just give me key I check.”
“Check what?”
“JUST GIVE ME KEY.”
“I’m […]
When I awoke this morning I had the terrible and shocking realisation that someone had broken into my flat during the night. Rather strangely they had not touched or taken anything. The only activity of this night intruder was to slap me repeatedly in my sleep. They did not wake me up; the first punch […]
There is nothing better than hearing distant thunder in the wee small hours. As one snuggles up in bed, listening to the rumbling and crashing, rain slashing against the window, one is generally happy with the world. The sound is both comforting and eerie.
As I look out of my bedroom window at the impending storm […]
Well, my Friday evening of loving possibility rapidly descended into disappointment and frustration, with an extra helping of violence and threat. I ran away and nothing happened. I told you so.
I was just reaching the optimum moment of opportunity to start my suave move; it was late, there were not many people around and I […]
Is it just me or has cheese suddenly become very expensive? Apart from the excessive amount of bottles of wine, it is the most expensive item on my weekly shopping list. When did this happen? Is there an international cheese shortage that is being covered up? Has the cheese mountain finally collapsed?
A small block of […]
I was at my mother’s house, looking through the window of my old bedroom, which looked out onto the back garden. On the grass was stood a stooped old woman, with a blue rinse and a little active terrier, happily running around her feet. The woman was wearing a large black overcoat, with a furry […]
What you really need at four in the morning is for someone to incessantly ring your entry-phone door buzzer. Not just once or twice but over and over again, for over ten minutes. Usually, I will just ignore such intrusive behaviour; it will be a drunk or a tramp or my ex.
However, the buzzing was […]