I have recently discovered that my block of flats, and much of the surrounding area, is now an official conservation zone. It was my opinion that my little part of East London was in severe physical, economic and humanistic decline but it appears that the Mile End Road part of Stepney is quite a desired […]
He is waiting in the sky and he is going to dump a ton of snow on the roads and pavements.
Oh yes, it looks like the world has ended. In all my years of living in the capital I have never seen anything like this. The ground is covered in over a foot of weird […]
Number 29: Man in Bed
It is another Friday night. It is midnight and you are rather drunken and bored. You can hear all those totties outside, clomping along in their high heels, laughing, having fun and looking for a bit of sexing. The light bulb of your mind springs to life and you decide to […]
What the flip is going on?
It is dark at four thirty. It is cold. It is wet. Bills are tripling in price. Shopping is expensive. People are mental. The streets are clogged. Public transport does not work. The causeway is covered in poop. I am lonely.
So come on Gordon Browny, sort it out mate. The […]
Ooooh, what a palaver. Apologies for being absent for a few days, I have been carrying out my on call duty as a Russell Brand body-double diversion device.
I have been rather busy impersonating the celebrity clown ponse. As the media chase the long haired chap around London I lead them in the opposite direction. Not […]
Who was that woman? She was middle aged, smartly dressed and kinda sexy in an older woman way. She was stood over the road from my flat and she was taking photos. She had a big telescopic lens camera on a tripod and was snapping away. Not just of anything, oh no. Her camera was […]
A man became angry at me during my morning walk. I was at the Bank Bottleneck and accidentally kicked a man in the shins from behind. He was fuming and began to shout and berate me and said some rather horrible and hurtful things. In a way I do not blame him.
Kicking someone directly in […]
During my daily trek up and down London’s Fleet Street I was presented with a rather unusual sight - one that I usually encounter in the dank cack-stained Victorian streets of Whitechapel. As I strolled past the McDonalds and the Starbucks I noticed a man approaching. He was very tall, well built and quite handsome, […]
Pip and I made an impromptu visit to the Tate Modern on Bankside. We were both intrigued by the latest art installation to fill the Turbine Hall. French artist Dominique Gonzalez-Foerster’s ‘TH.2058′ consists of two hundred yellow and blue bunk bed frames. There are giant animal sculptures tacked on for good measure, including the spider […]