On my walk home last night I had an experience that I have never had before. As I was striding down the Mile End Road, just after the junction with Cambridge Heath Road, I noticed something on the floor. As I got closer I realised it was a wad of money. There were £20s and […]
Walking down The Cut the other day I saw what appeared to be a mental person swerving straight for me, as they do. Upon closer inspection I realised it was my friend and sexy man actor Jude Law.
He was hardly recognisable, with wild hair, dirty and crumpled clothes and mad bloodshot eyes. He was obviously […]
A typical lunch hour in London:
Walking onto Blackfriars Bridge, avoiding the closed pavements due to station refurbishment, I walk past Bobby Gillespie, singer in popular blues and electronica group Primal Scream. There is no mistaking Gillespie, he always appears incredibly greasy and gaunt, a man who has had an eventful life and could be very […]
Ah people, you have to love ‘em don’t you? I choose to hate them. You know why? Well, because most of them are stupid and ignorant. It’s a fact. Take this fellow from early this morning. Around 3.30am I was awoken from my broken drunken snooze by a repeated banging and shouting.
There was a chap […]
What were they thinking? Coming to my city and demonstrating about such irrelevant and inane subjects as the destruction of the environment, the evil nature of capitalism and the rape of the world and humanity by greedy selfish fat men in reptile suits.
Why my displeasure? They demonstrated on my patch, that’s why. My walk home […]
There was a very unusual and subdued atmosphere in the City of London early this morning. The usual swathes of be-suited arrogant and selfish City Units – Notable TosserS (think about it) had been replaced by laid-back, casual-attired people, students, travellers and crusties. On this lovely sunny and warm morning pedestrians were strolling around as […]
There is a brand new sandwich and snack emporium in the heart of the City of London. I walk past this canteen of unusual delights at breakfast time, just before passing Mansion House Station. What catches my eye and piques my interest are the exotic treats being hawked on the advertising chalk board which nestles […]
An exciting sight welcomed me on the Millennium Bridge this beautiful sunny crisp morning. Seeing another film crew I thought nothing of it, they are there everyday after all.
As I closed in on the flittering crew I realised those in front of the camera were foul-mouth idiot Jonathan Ross, smug pug-faced little fat man Ricky […]
When indie celebrities go mental at the NME Awards do not accept their invitation to party.
This will continue for four full days and nights and involve visits to salubrious clubs, pubs and brothels in the heart of seedy Soho and oh sooo trendy Hoxton. Partying for such lengths of time is so exhausting you have […]
Wow, celebrities man, they are flipping maniac monsters dude. I thought I was a wild and crazy kind of guy but the unruly activities of various band members and singers last night pushed my drunken behaviour into irrelevance.
The Shockwaves NME Awards 2009 culminated in the throwing of burgers, beer and Champaign and this kind of […]