The crazies were out in force this morning. The filthy, smelly, spit-covered Whitechapel streets were being patrolled by the mental and the drunk. It is often frightening. There were tribes of disgusting, ugly men and women sprawled all over the pavements, lying in their own sick and screaming at the world.
There is one particularly unpleasant […]
Cor blimey it’s hot. It really is. It’s a piece-a-hot hot hot. The intense heat makes a number of simple activities extremely difficult. Sleeping is a near impossible affair. The night is spent tossing, turning and sweating, having vivid nightmares about exams and only managing thirty minutes of shut eye.
Walking - the infamous nutters of […]
Walking down Whitechapel High Street recently I saw an unusual altercation outside the Citroen dealership, the one next to the East London Mosque. There was an incident involving a woman and a street cleaner, a career position now referred to as a ‘Visual Urban Hygiene Technician’. The man with the brush was a filthy looking […]
It has now officially been over a week of constantly getting wet. Every time I go outside, which I try to keep to a minimum, it has rained . . . heavily. This is not a new thing, I have always had a big black rain cloud hovering directly above my lovely head. It has […]
British tennis leg-end Andy Murray takes on the daunting task of playing Spaniard Rafael Nadal in the Wimbledon quarter-finals today. This is the fourth time they will play each other and Nadal has won all previous matches and is the favourite to win this one. However, Murray remains confident saying, “Obviously he’s the favourite for […]
Now that the weather is improving the running of the gauntlet that is walking down Whitechapel High Street is becoming unbearable. Daily, I will be accosted by a drunken lunatic demanding money or cigarettes. They are very intimidating and aggressive, to say the least.
Striding down the High Street recently, I was stopped in my tracks […]
“Hello Mr Garazy, I need you keys for flat.”
“Hi Mr Chan, what do you mean?”
“I need you keys so I can get in you flat.”
“Why do you need to get into my flat?”
“I want me looky round you flat.”
“Why?”
“Just want looky round.”
“There must be a reason.”
“Just give me key I check.”
“Check what?”
“JUST GIVE ME KEY.”
“I’m […]
Reports suggest that a certain sex pest, who threatened to break my face with a pint glass, has been arrested. This makes me rather glib because he is an excuse for a human being and an evil predator. The incident occurred during the wedding of one of his closest childhood friends. Pest was the best […]
How do you give instructions and directions to someone who does not speak English? With great difficulty, that’s how.
“Excuse, I help need.”
“Sorry, I have no spare change or cigarettes.”
“No, I bus need in Tower Hill.”
“You need a bus to Tower Hill?”
“Yeez.”
“The buses that go from this stop do not go to Tower Hill.”
“Tower Hill bus, […]
It was with intense trepidation that I walked up to the gates outside work for my confrontation with the sex pest. I was stood in the spitting rain, with only a couple of smokers for company. I decided to give the pest five minutes and then I would return to my desk, settled in the […]