Ooooh, what a palaver. Apologies for being absent for a few days, I have been carrying out my on call duty as a Russell Brand body-double diversion device.
I have been rather busy impersonating the celebrity clown ponse. As the media chase the long haired chap around London I lead them in the opposite direction. Not […]
Number 6: Vissarion Belinskii
“Ere mate, oi mate, ere mate.”
Ignore the dirty scary tramp man Nelson, just ignore him.
“Oi mate, ere, oi, ere mate.”
“Look I’m sorry; I do not have any spare change, cigarettes, alcohol, food or biscuits.”
“Nah mate, I just wanted to tell you something.”
“I am in a dreadful hurry.”
“It’ll only take a second.”
“Go on […]
A man became angry at me during my morning walk. I was at the Bank Bottleneck and accidentally kicked a man in the shins from behind. He was fuming and began to shout and berate me and said some rather horrible and hurtful things. In a way I do not blame him.
Kicking someone directly in […]
During my daily trek up and down London’s Fleet Street I was presented with a rather unusual sight - one that I usually encounter in the dank cack-stained Victorian streets of Whitechapel. As I strolled past the McDonalds and the Starbucks I noticed a man approaching. He was very tall, well built and quite handsome, […]
Walking home I passed the RBS building in Aldgate, the area where the new pavement has just been laid and new crossings installed, when I noticed a man walking towards me. He was wearing a smart suit with disturbingly shinny shoes. He looked middle aged and his hair was greying at the temples. As he […]
A quick message of heartfelt thanks goes out to the couple who live in the flat above mine. Just after midnight they generously took the brave decision to have a party; a party that ran from late Monday night until six am Tuesday morning. What a fabulous idea and I am so happy they shared […]
It is with a degree of honour and respect that I want to thank certain individuals who use their valuable sleeping time to serenade me in the wee small hours of the morning. Couples and lonely gentlemen stand beneath my bedroom window at three in the morning and proceed to shout and swear and argue. […]
Reports are coming over the wires that at least 125 people have been killed in a stampede at a Hindu temple in the northern Indian state of Rajasthan. A wall near the temple is said to have collapsed, causing panic among thousands of gathered devotees. This is a tragedy and I assure you I am […]