Are the rapidly enlarging and engorged bags and sacks underneath both my eyes due to aging? Or are they due to panic, intense anxiety, stress, acute paranoia, clinical depression, alcoholism and sleepless nights?
Maybe it is both reasons. Oh, what a shame.
When you have had several bottles of red wine too many and a bottle of cheap Estonian vodka do not, I repeat, do not decide to receive a chocolate enema administered by a seven foot tall tranny. Oh the mess. Oh the chocolate. Oh the heels.
It was as effective as a, erm . . . […]
It was fun but there was no rest, none at all. Does that make me wicked?
Yesterday was the day I went post-Easter cold turkey and boy was it rough. I still feel particularly delicate right now. Why these unpleasant feelings of tiredness, paranoia and pain? Well, I have been drinking solidly and rapidly for five […]
It’s break time. Cor blimey governor, I am very much looking forward to my days over the Easter Bank Holiday weekend that I have graciously been allowed to take off.
I am in no way a religious man, in fact I am a devout atheist, but I thank that there non-existent God and his little helper […]
Ah people, you have to love ‘em don’t you? I choose to hate them. You know why? Well, because most of them are stupid and ignorant. It’s a fact. Take this fellow from early this morning. Around 3.30am I was awoken from my broken drunken snooze by a repeated banging and shouting.
There was a chap […]
At the recent NME Awards shindig after show party I had an unusual experience in a toilet with Oasis singer and celebrity spitter Liam Gallagher. I was busily checking my make-up in the urinal mirror, discussing the joy of lipstick with The Cure’s Robert Smith, when there was a fracas and excitable activity in the […]
When indie celebrities go mental at the NME Awards do not accept their invitation to party.
This will continue for four full days and nights and involve visits to salubrious clubs, pubs and brothels in the heart of seedy Soho and oh sooo trendy Hoxton. Partying for such lengths of time is so exhausting you have […]
Wow, celebrities man, they are flipping maniac monsters dude. I thought I was a wild and crazy kind of guy but the unruly activities of various band members and singers last night pushed my drunken behaviour into irrelevance.
The Shockwaves NME Awards 2009 culminated in the throwing of burgers, beer and Champaign and this kind of […]
Tonight I shall be heading off to Brixton Academy to attend the Shockwaves NME Awards 2009, the glamorous indie gift giving, drinking and debauchery celebration. Will I see you there? I sure hope so. I still have not decided on my outfit but I can assure you it will be overblown, outrageous, glamorous non-wearable and […]
Whey hey girlfriends and the rest. Sorry I didn’t see you all at the Brits but Brandon Flowers wanted to see this pic - What can I do? Love you all xxx