An exciting sight welcomed me on the Millennium Bridge this beautiful sunny crisp morning. Seeing another film crew I thought nothing of it, they are there everyday after all.
As I closed in on the flittering crew I realised those in front of the camera were foul-mouth idiot Jonathan Ross, smug pug-faced little fat man Ricky Gervais and an old fellow riding a pretend emu, what’s his name because he is famous for doing this one thing?
Ross and Gervais were being all pally, laughing at their own jokes and cupping each others balls. However, the emu man stood stock still, looking rather depressed with legs encased in bright yellow tights and claw slippers on feet. As he pulled on the reins of the false stuffed animal belt I thought I saw a tiny salty tear fall from his old, bag laden puffy eye.
They were all attired in plastic red noses so I assumed they were promoting Comic Relief in some way. The director was attempting to ready them for a live broadcast.
Walking past I began to understand the actions of misbehaved mongrel children, loud mouthed track suited youths and obese drunken football men. Passing the recording camera and bright lights I had to fight the overwhelming urge to begin gesticulating, sticking up my thumbs and doing the funky gibbon monkey dance in an oversized pair of white y-fronts, tongue in lower lip and shouting “Joey”.
All I managed was a mumbled ‘w kers’.
2 Comments
WKERS!
(Eh?)
Yeah, that told the fat blighters.