Nelson Galaxy

There is an advert jingle on Sky News which plays continuously throughout the day. Because the television is placed next to my left ear I hear this jingle multiple times. It is quite catchy and I have been singing along. The ditty is now implanted within my bonce.

The tune is connected with a Sky News show starring political argumentator Jeff Randall, or something. There is a montage featuring Randall looking stern and walking around the exterior of the House of Commons, saying something like, “I’d rather be dead than be a politician,” whilst pointing at a lamppost. However, this does not interest me because it is the jingle jangle that counts.

This is what I have been singing every time the ad appears:

French toast,
Yum,
That’s what is in your pocket.

French toast,
Yum,
That’s what is in your pocket.

Genius, a song about French toast being handily placed in one’s pocket – just in case of toast denial based emergencies. I wish to partake in this practise, where do I sign up? Oh dear, I am not sure what French toast actually is. Is it that hard crispy square dry stuff (easy on the pocket) or is it bread fried in eggy, cheesy mixture (soggy pocket)?

Upon closer listening I was mightily disappointed to discover the actual words:

Keep your friends close,
And your enemies in your pocket.

This makes less sense than putting toast in one’s pocket. Why would a person wish their enemy to be in their pockets? What if it was the trouser pocket? I for one would not wish my enemies to be that close to my Timmy Tiddler. French toast on the other hand, maybe.

Oh yeah, happy Friday the 13th, try not to fall under a bus or in a man.