In The Crush

Reports are coming over the wires that at least 125 people have been killed in a stampede at a Hindu temple in the northern Indian state of Rajasthan. A wall near the temple is said to have collapsed, causing panic among thousands of gathered devotees. This is a tragedy and I assure you I am not trying to make light of it.

This morning I too was caught in a near crush outside the East London Mosque in Whitechapel. Hundreds of Muslims had congregated on the pavement waiting for entry to morning prayer. However, they were unprepared to move out of the way for anybody, oh no, especially a long haired indie looking fella like myself. Pushing, prodding and physically manhandling I made my way slowly through the throng of morning worshippers.

A gruff, tattooed, bald, bulldog-walking east-ender was making his way from the opposite direction. He was not about to wait for people to move. Smashing his way through the congregation he was flinging bodies and merrily shouting, “Oi, move out of the way you dozy bleeders.” I was hoping to exit the mass through his slipstream. Alas, the ranks of religion lovers closed in on me and I became crushed beneath hundreds of smelly rude asian men, drowning in a sea of bad personal hygiene.

I do not want to offend anybody or sully someone’s beliefs (too late for that) but I have a problem with organised religion, especially one which treats women as inferior, demands fasting and easily triggers stampedes.

7 Comments

  1. Posted October 1, 2008 at 12:12 pm | Permalink

    Oh come on - you were just in a bad mood.
    Remember that stampede in Havana? You didn’t complain then.

  2. Nelson Galaxy
    Posted October 1, 2008 at 2:01 pm | Permalink

    I was drunk in Havana and it was a lady stampede, which I believe, is particularly acceptable.

  3. Posted October 2, 2008 at 1:40 pm | Permalink

    Mmm . . .
    Lady stampede. Can’t wait for the next one.

  4. Nelson Galaxy
    Posted October 2, 2008 at 2:44 pm | Permalink

    I have the special source, which always makes them come running.

  5. Posted October 2, 2008 at 4:11 pm | Permalink

    If I remember correctly, you came running while all those ladies were chasing you down that little street.

  6. Nelson Galaxy
    Posted October 3, 2008 at 1:32 pm | Permalink

    It is very difficult to sprint with ones trousers around ones ankles and a bottle of JD in your hand.

  7. Posted October 3, 2008 at 1:57 pm | Permalink

    Especially if you are coming.

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