Nelson Galaxy

Why oh why have all the members of staff for London Underground, that I have come into contact with, been so rude? Do they receive special training in the art of unpleasantness? Or is it something they work hard at, developing their gruff unapproachable exterior over time? Or have I only had dealings with a minority?

I try to avoid using the Tube system, it is just so unreliable, and opt to walk wherever I can. However, upon occasion I shall be required to carry items and therefore need to use public transport. So, there I was, on Friday afternoon, stood by the barrier at Stepney Green station, box in hand, hoping the nice uniformed gentleman would open the gate and I could exit.

It was not as easy as that. This member of staff had honed his patronising and sarcastic manner to levels of perfection. In a barely audible mumble he asked me what I was doing. I pleasantly explained that I needed the barrier opened so I could exit the station.

“I need to open this gate, ya know, not you and I may just leave you standing there. It’s my choice mate. Have you got a ticket? What’s in the box? I could call the police and have you arrested, ya know. I don’t have to open the gate pal. It’s my choice.” This jumped up little Hitler of a man felt he held sway over the tiny empire that was Stepney Green station foyer.

I stared at him in silence. He did not move. I carried on staring. He stared back but gradually become very uncomfortable and eventually unlocked the gate and I walked through. I still said, “Thank you.”

“Don’t look at me in that tone of voice,” I heard him say as I stepped over the drunk that was lying unconscious by the station door.