New figures released today by the Home Office show that Taser use is on the increase. The devices were used 159 times and discharged 26 times in the last three months. Since the Taser was first introduced in England and Wales in April 2004 they have been used 2,662 times.
These figures only account for use by authorised police officers.
My Taser fun has been discounted because I do not belong to one of the ten police forces taking part in the Home Office trial. I love to wander the streets of Olde London Town with my Taser drawn, aimed, red-dotted, arced, drive-stunned and discharged. I laugh manically as the scum of Whitechapel run in fear of my crackling intruder, the whites of their eyes visible through their madness masks.
I love my Taser.
It is so much more mobile that the laser rifle I used to carry around. This drew too much attention due to being so bulky. I had to support it in a little wheel barrow. I now have the laser positioned and pinioned in my living room window, fully charged and just waiting to be let off. Mmmm lasers.
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Have you been eating those funny mushrooms again?
Only the ones I find in the park, next to the white dog poo.