Walking down Whitechapel High Street recently I saw an unusual altercation outside the Citroen dealership, the one next to the East London Mosque. There was an incident involving a woman and a street cleaner, a career position now referred to as a ‘Visual Urban Hygiene Technician’. The man with the brush was a filthy looking […]
Is it not amazing the words of wisdom one can hear in a supermarket? At the weekend I was doing my weekly shop at Sainsbury’s in Whitechapel, choosing my fruit and alcohol for the week – what else can you possibly need?
I noticed a rather gnarly chipper old fellow intensely examining the store’s bananas. He […]
A few years ago my band played a gig near Nottingham. At the time we were called The Johnsons and we were playing in the palatial environs of Woolaton Park. It was a lovely balmy summer’s day in August. We were honoured to have a guest appearance from Enormous frontman Davy Lawrence on drum, that’s […]
Recently a woman successfully sued a footwear manufacturer for damages. She was wearing her new pair of high glamour shoes and the heel snapped off. This led to her losing her balance and breaking her ankle. The brake was so severe she needed surgery and metal pins were placed in her bones, ruining a budding […]
It has now officially been over a week of constantly getting wet. Every time I go outside, which I try to keep to a minimum, it has rained . . . heavily. This is not a new thing, I have always had a big black rain cloud hovering directly above my lovely head. It has […]
The new Enormous album ‘Electric Baby Grand’ is now available to buy from the Big Arena Records website. If you do not already own this album I suggest you get a copy right now, it will be the best decision you have ever made. Singer/songwriter Davy Lawrence is one of the greatest songwriters of our […]
If anybody received an email from me this weekend I can only apologise. I was rather inebriated and was unaware of my unacceptable immature behaviour.
If you see me in your inbox then please immediately press the delete button. I knew not what I was doing, the evil boozy brain had taken over and my disconnected […]
I had another rather odd conversation in the office kitchen with George. His twisted imagination has envisioned another bizarre invention. He presently has his little wonky eye on a certain pretty young girl and will do anything to impress her. He has already made her some nettle soup and left it on her desk and […]
Why is Pete Doherty stalking me?
I constantly keep walking past him in the street. I often see him outside Whitechapel’s urchin drug music hole The Rhythm Factory – he is usually playing a residency in this bleak East End bar. I have seen him with his band Babyshambles, enjoying a drink on the grotty pavement. […]
British tennis leg-end Andy Murray takes on the daunting task of playing Spaniard Rafael Nadal in the Wimbledon quarter-finals today. This is the fourth time they will play each other and Nadal has won all previous matches and is the favourite to win this one. However, Murray remains confident saying, “Obviously he’s the favourite for […]