Nelson Galaxy

A recent report has discovered that oranges are fast becoming a rather unpopular fruit. Due to the haste of modern living, there is not enough time to sit and peel an orange. The citrus has become too labour intensive and is now very much out of favour with the modern workforce.

Well, let me tell you, I am very much on the side of orange loving. I have been on the orange diet now for a good few years. Daily, whilst sat at my desk, I shall eat two oranges and a carrot, which interestingly is also orange. My colleagues are all tucking into big baguettes and hot meals and I make do with my oranges. It is a diet that works. I lost five stones in six months.

All the extra citrus and vitamin C means that I rarely contract the common cold. Good news because I have not taken a day off sick for five years. Hey, even if I am sick I still have to come to work so it is better if I am well.

I have the last laugh, matey. The time it takes me to peel an orange is very precious because it is my break time. I chuckle to myself as I lean over my bin peeling the orange. That is thirty seconds without working, back of the net melon farmers.

Oranges; you can peel ‘em, you can eat ‘em, you can juice ‘em and you can throw ‘em.