Nelson Galaxy

Walking home the other eve I became entangled in an unexpected lady-embrace. I was walking past ‘The Scream’, a student pub very close to where I live, in that London. There were lots of young people mingling and milling on the pavement, some smoking and some just chatting, all drinking. The causeway narrows outside the public house and high numbers of people equals difficult access and passage.

I managed to get myself positioned at the rear of a group of young girls who had just arrived at the venue. They were greeting their friends and kissing each other on the cheeks, giggling and smelling of rum and potential. I realised there was no through route for me; my path was blocked by females, real females. So I stood and waited patiently, mere centimetres away.

The girls had come to meet a gaggle of other very attractive girls. When their greetings had finished and hugs and kisses given they moved on to me, believing I had arrived with them, a man amongst the pigeons.

A particularly stunning young filly, big hair, plump lips and sexily attired, started hugging me and kissing me on both cheeks. “Wow, she is lovely,” I thought. “This could be the one, Nelson.”

“What you doing Suzy? He ain’t wiv us,” said one of the girls. The kisser went bright red and looked disgusted. Her eyes narrowed and lips pursed. I smiled like a loon, a breeze made my hair go crazy. “Pervert,” she shouted loudly, so loudly ancient mariners could hear her. I sidled past and slunked on home.

Once ensconced within my flat I noticed I had red lipstick kisses on my cheeks and chin and I could still smell perfume. I began to plan the wedding.

On the Nelson hi-fi today:
Rachael’s - Handwriting