Nelson Galaxy

No, I am not talking about Doctor Who’s Catherine Tate, you naughty people.

Recently, there have appeared a collection of bizarre artistic apparitions on the frontage of the Tate Modern, on London’s South Bank. These gigantic paintings stretch from the tip of the building to its very bottom. It must be a mammoth task to paint on such an enormous brick canvas and the artists should be congratulated.

However, I do not want to sound ignorant, but they look as though they have been painted by children. Blind children, with no hands, or talent. Some may feel they are artistic revelations. Fair enough.

Walking over the Millennium Bridge this morn I noticed two attractive women admiring the art. I overheard one say to the other, “I don’t get it. That is absolutely rubbish, looks like a child has painted ‘em. Is it a joke? Look at that one on the right, total c**p.”

Two people were stood near them, one a photographer and the other a middle aged woman. The woman heard the distasteful criticism and interrupted proclaiming, “Oy, I painted that!” It was obvious that she was there to be photographed with her prized creation standing tall and erect in the background.

“Oh, I am so very sorry,” said one of the ladies, “but it is terrible.”
“Yeah, everyone’s a critic but it’s worth millions.”
“Fair enough, but it is still c**p.”

I strode past too quickly to hear the rest of the argument but witnessed some hair pulling, kicking of ankles and high pitched squealing. This would make an eminently more interesting publicity portfolio for the artist.

By the way, the bus crash on Tower Bridge Road had nothing to do with me. My post of yesterday about busses and Tower Hill/Bridge is in no way connected. I know nothing, honest Governor.