I have just had a disturbing threat from the sex pest.
I was sat at my desk when I noticed someone had sidled up behind me. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed a distorted simulacrum of a face. Turning around I was repulsed by the sight of the pest’s deformed grin. He was very close to me and I could smell his doggy breath and see the amateur bristles on his pointed protruding chin.
“Nelson, I’m going to sort you out once and for all.”
“What could you possibly mean Pesty?”
“You and me, outside the work gates, tomorrow.”
“Eh, what the heck are you talking about?”
He was standing as tall as he was able. However, his back was still painfully hunched and legs bowed. I noticed he was panting. A small black bogie was attempting to escape from his hair infested nose.
“You just be outside the work gates tomorrow boy.”
“How old are you?”
“Be there, I’m taking you down.”
“Whatever.”
His grin expanded into a red gash across his ugly visage. There was a small slither of spittle in the corner of his mouth. His eyes bulged out of their misshapen sockets. Suddenly and sharply, he extended a grubby index finger towards my face and pressed down hard on the cheek, digging into the sensitive flesh. Pulling his finger away he silently disappeared into his dark dank hole.
Tomorrow it is then.
5 Comments
Good luck, Nelson. (My money is on the pest - sorry, I mean you. My money is on you. Definitely on you.)
Oops, just forgot: sorry to bring this up again, but if he ends up actually killing you - and of course that’s not going to happen, is it - but if he does, right, and I’m, you know, just saying, well, if he does, can I have your Telecaster? And your new TV?
And your wine collection?
Ok Nap, I see where your loyalties lie. Have the wine and guitar, have it all, see if I care. Oh, except my TV, Telecaster and wine collection.
And your Action Men. Can I have your Action Men?