There seems to be a rash of birthdays in the office. Each day, for the past two weeks, there have been one or two birthdays. What is it with May? When you think about the average gestation period for humans that makes the hot sticky nights of August a rather erotic fun time.
I do enjoy the cakes that go around, even though I will often eat more than any one person can and go crazy on the sugar. When I get a chocolate or sponge treat I savour it with glee. I especially have a weak spot for muffins, oh I certainly do, I love muffin me. And those Vietnamese Twirls, they are rather super too.
The constant passing around of birthday cards causes a degree of stress. I am determined to make my comment the funniest and most profound; therefore I need to have a stock set of quotes in preparation. They usually consist of something like, “Enjoy your birthday and dance dance the dance of time” or just “Birthday, birthday, birthday, birthday”. You get the idea.
To show that I am a little quirky (“Or just mental,” Ed) I will always write my comment upside down. Crazy guy. (“Weirdo,” Ed)
Unfortunately, the constant offer of birthday drinks has to be turned down. I have recently discovered that when I go out bad things happen. Best to just go home and lock the door, and the windows.
“Coming out for a drink to celebrate my birthday Nelson?”
“No sorry, something bad will happen and I will ruin it for everyone.”
“Suit yourself miserable b*****d.”
“I’m doing it for you.”
So I raise a chocolate cornflake and wish you good times birthday hordes.
4 Comments
You miserable, mental weirdo, you.
I am trying to be nice - I don’t want to ruin for everyone else. Anyway, I am a miserable, mental weirdo, and proud of it.
Hmm . . . a fighting one now as well, by the look of things.
Bring it on mofo