Nelson Galaxy

Well, I expressed my democratic right to vote today, in the London Mayor and Assembly elections. I hope that if any of you had the chance you voted too. It is something you should use and not squander. You got it then you must use it because a lot of people around the world do not. Saying you don’t believe in voting is just pathetic.

It doesn’t take much imagination to realise who I gave my precious vote to. That’s right – BNP. Only joshing. It takes a special kind of ignorant racist idiot to vote for them (“Are you thinking of someone in particular?” personal Ed). It also takes a special kind of public schooled imbecile to vote for that Boris thing. No, my vote went to our Ken. The man was on a Blur record for heaven’s sake. That’s enough to get my cross.

I found that the voting process was made a little more difficult than it needed to be. Not because there were multiple forms and one had four votes but because I couldn’t find the flipping place. The polling station was situated in a school next to Stepney Green. I trudged on down there this morning, limping due to my poorly foot, and found the school.

However, there did not appear to be an entrance. Walking the circumference I discovered an open gate and entered, only to walk into the middle of a playground full of children playing. Oh dear, you can get arrested for that in London. I swiftly exited and carried on around the school’s picturesque concrete grounds.

I found a tiny sign next to a closed gate that said ‘Way In’. I risked it, it was the correct option. There were no obvious clues that this was the way to go, I could have ended up at Way Out. Was it because it was early in the morning and they had not set up properly or was I just being very stupid?

Then I realised this could be a good thing. I am a man of above average intelligence, with a Masters’ degree and a passing interest in quantum physics. If I had difficulty finding the voting booth then how will those ignorant BNP types manage? Out of frustration will they go and attack an immigrant? How will the Boris upper-class types manage? Will they go to the old boy’s club for a sherry and forget this fuddy duddy new fangled voting palaver old chap?

I am hoping these silly, ignorant, despicable scumbags cannot find their ‘Way In’ and will just bugger off and die. Come the revolution. Sermon ends.