Brown Magic

I was striding over the Millennium Bridge last eve, dodging tourists and wishing I was carrying a samurai sword, when I almost walked directly into top TV celebrity magic man Derren Brown. There was a camera placed on a tripod filming him as he pretended to be a member of the public walking within the crowd. I am glad to say he is a rather short little tiny man.

His head was bowed firmly to the floor but as I approached he looked up at me and our eyes met. Then I got the fear. I do not like magic, it gives me the creeps. Brown’s style of magic is worse – it is all about mind control and how the monkey held the key.

What kind of mental mumbo jumbo has he transferred through his glance? Will my legs vanish? Will I have an uncontrollable urge to jump off the side of the bridge? Will I think I an eating an apple when it is actually an onion? Will my bowels explode? Woops, already have. My reality could evaporate as I realise that I am actually a ghost, or a hit man who has just had his programming activated.

The tiny magician must have passed some of his evil suggestive power onto me because I had the inexplicable urge to shout the word “Tw*t” at him. I fought away his evil magic eye and I walked on by.

6 Comments

  1. Posted April 11, 2008 at 10:22 am | Permalink

    Did he reveal to you that you don’t actually exist?
    Check it out - find a mirror. I’ve been writing your blog.

  2. Nelson Galaxy
    Posted April 11, 2008 at 12:38 pm | Permalink

    Oh no. Am I really alive? I don’t know. I have often wondered if I am invisible. Is this all a mental construct? Or am I alive and you are all dead?

  3. Posted April 11, 2008 at 4:09 pm | Permalink

    Who said that!?

  4. Posted April 13, 2008 at 8:10 am | Permalink

    Napoleon, why are you writing comments to yourself?

  5. Nelson Galaxy
    Posted April 14, 2008 at 1:02 pm | Permalink

    Everyone has gone mental. Or have I gone mad? Am I really here?

  6. Posted April 15, 2008 at 1:23 pm | Permalink

    Lobbilob.

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