Nelson Galaxy

Pip has done something to monumentally rattle me As of now I am officially declaring and end to our friendship. As you will remember, I recently had a massive work project to carry out. This caused immense stress, sleepless nights and depression.

I completed this by the impractical deadline I was given. I then gave it over to Pip to read through, just read through you understand. I expected this to take thirty minutes.

It is now over a week later and Pip has just finished reading my Standard Operating Procedures. I was badgering him to get through it. However, I received the usual reply of, “I can’t really face it”, “I need to sort out this problem with my gas bill” or “God, do I have to?” If I knew it was going to take so long I would have spent longer writing it rather than constantly and silently screaming.

Pip informed our manager that the SOP is now complete. I had a very quick glance at it and noticed that he has added a footnote on every page saying, “Written by Pip with occasional input from Nelson.”

Excuse me? All you did was read it, which took you ten times longer than it took me to write. After you’ve read a book do you ring the publisher and ask for co-authorship? How strange. I have started to uncover more occasions where he has snidely taken credit for my hard work.

I now realise that Pip is no friend of mine. He is a person I work with whom I have a few things in common with. I know I can write this without him reading it because at no point has he supported my blogging or even my music. I gave him a copy of my acoustic album. When I asked him what he thought he replied, “Couldn’t be bothered, don’t even know where it is.”

I win though. I consider my job as a means to an end. It provides me with money to survive before my tranny punk-pop superstardom and world domination begins. For Pip, it is his career and his future, until he is made redundant that is.

Cheers mate.