Nelson Galaxy

I mentioned yesterday that I had managed to burn my feet on a hot water bottle. At the weekend I also sustained other burn-related injuries. These were oven induced. I can be particularly clumsy but my injuries all seem to occur at the same time. I was extracting some roasted vegetables from the hot oven when I lost my balance and my hand pressed itself against the inside of the heat machine.

I squealed but still removed the tray of bubbling fresh veg to then place the roasting tin on my upper arm. I now have big dark blemishes down my left arm and hand. It is my own fault though; I was rather drunk (‘What, again?’ – abstinence Ed). I must say though, it is not advisable to do the cooking in high heels and a tight cocktail dress, this was the main reason why I lost my balance and burnt myself.

These injuries reminded me of a former comedy burn, which still makes me chuckle to this day. I was in the Paper Moon on Blackfriars Road with various people, including Pip. Someone had the bright idea to buy a round of flaming Sambuca, a disgusting aniseed liqueur served in a shot glass that is set on fire. The flame is to be extinguished by placing the palm of ones hand over the top of the glass.

Pip attempted to place his hand on the glass, realized it was very hot and spilt the flaming liquid onto his hand. Pip started to hyperventilate as his hand became a ball of flame. All I could do was laugh hysterically as his life flashed before his eyes. He eventually rescued his hand by pouring a pint of beer over it. He looked rather pained; the pungent smell of burnt flesh and hair was thick in the air.

“You stupid twit,” was all I could splutter as I nearly chocked laughing. Then I burnt my lips on the still lit drink, it wasn’t so funny then.