As part of my Christmas box I was delighted to receive a hot water bottle from my dear old mother. I have never had one before and thought it would be nice to get into bed on a cold winter’s eve and warm my cold weary feet. Luxury. Being far too poor to use the heating in my flat any extra warmth is very welcome as the artic wind finds its way through my single paned draughty windows.
A nice soft furry brown sheath encases the bottle and lying in bed putting my feet on the warm soft water filled bottle is really quite wonderful. Rather than shivering for an hour I can now get to sleep much quicker. Be careful though, when I was drunk on Friday night I added boiling water straight out of the kettle and managed to burn my feet. This is still painful now.
The unusual thing is that I find myself waking up in the middle of the night cuddling said water bottle. It has somehow made its way up from my feet to be pressed against my chest, with my arms wrapped around it. My unconscious dream-addled mind must imagine I have a small warm pet dog that I enjoy cuddling in the night. I do wish I could get a dog, but it would be cruel to leave it alone all day whilst I was at work.
Blimey, cuddling a hot water bottle, is this what it has come to? I really need me a lover, preferably not a small furry one.
4 Comments
Reading between the lines, old boy, it seems as if you leave your furry bottle at home all day on its own.
Cannot something to be done to alleviate this enforced solitude? It may even be perceived by others as cruelty. Take her to work with you, man, I’m sure your colleagues would understand your predicament, as it were.
Oh no, now I feel really guilty. I don’t think they allow furry bottles into the office though. Anyway, she’s much happier sat at the bottom of the bed waiting for me all day. Do you ever find yourself cuddling Audrey in the night?
Hmmm. Maybe you could get another warm furry hot water bottle. The you could have one to cuddle and one for your feet. And in the day, they could cuddle each other.
Genius Jo. Maybe I could find a lady to warm my feet and cuddle? Ahhh imagine…