I did it. I spent two long hours in the company of various colleagues and my CEO. My initial feelings of bliss are rapidly being replaced by intense paranoia. Now I’m worrying that I said something stupid and everyone thinks I’m an idiot. We had to go around the table and give a short talk about our careers, lives and loves. I got nervous….I worried and sweated. You see I really hate everyone in that room with a passion and wanted to punch each one on the nose. Bonk. I didn’t want them to know anything about me, except how handsome I am but they can see that without me saying anything.
My turn. I saw a perfect selling opportunity. Why not tell them all about “Half Nelson” my forthcoming album on Big Arena Records? If just one of them buys it then I’ve won. I was asked what kind of music it was. I was attempting to say, “spiky and punky”. However, all I could blurt out in my shaky voiced way was “Spunk”. Ohh the sound of spunk. I have literally spunked in front of my CEO. Reminds me of the old Slaughterhouse 5 logo “Sh5 Punk Baby”. Geddit?
I attempted to gobble down my free sandwiches and say nothing else, desperately trying not to catch anyone’s evil eye. Someone did say that I was frightening, which is odd because I’ve done nothing to give people the fear. I believe it’s because I’m an enigma and they can’t work me out.
I bit the corporate fist and I’m still alive.
6 Comments
I think you’re a conundrum.
Nelson, you just made my drink nearly come out of my nose.
Reminds me of that time Napoleon shouted ‘monkey’ or something similar at a passing lady of the opposite sex, when he was in fact ending a conversation with Audrey.
Hee hee hee
Eeeeeuuuuurrrrggghhh!!!!!!
I didn’t realise I was playing THAT kind of music.
Whatever next, foreigners in the Lord’s Tavern? I was nearly sick on my Daily Mail.
Beufois
Where’s the Lord’s Tavern Gray? Do they serve Stella?
Jo: I think I suffer from the same thing as Napoleon - the ability to say just the wrong thing at the right time.
It’s funny how we all build separate lives for ourselves, ie at work, home, amongst friends etc. I know exactly what you mean by being an enigma at work. People want to figure you out in the jungle that is work.
Welcome aboard Gia. I’m often tempted to tell them what I really am. But why should I? Nothing to do with em.